I had a serene, peaceful lunch hour. It was so perfect I had to blog immediately. The sun is shining, it is warm and gentle breeze is rustling the leaves of the big trees making them look like they are in a ritual dance to some silent drums. I am sitting in the shade of the awning outside on some concrete steps, shoes kicked off to the side, and legs stretched out, my back leaning against the wall.
The trees are all shades of green and some red flowers are blowing in the wind. A plastic bag is caught in the invisible wand of the air around and dances all across the asphalt as if trying to escape but unable to do so. I am reading a book.. O Pioneers by Willa Cather, who I have decided writes as descriptive as I do sometimes. So I am enjoying the story. The breeze passes through again and I lean my head back and close my eyes, take a deep breath and give thanks for the second time this day.
Favorite quote in the book so far: " There is often a good deal of the child left in people who have had to grow up too soon. "
This is the feeling that filled my heart this morning as I finished reading my scriptures. I took a moment to soak it in and wonder in awe at the amazing way things fall into place. They take their course and work themselves out.
At this time last year, was the beginning of turmoil and struggles that seemed endless. I had just come back to America in March. I had no job, no home, no money and nowhere to lay my head at night. It was so devastating after having been so independent and earning well for a while before I had to leave to India. I was also in a brand new relationship and this put such a strain on both of us.
There were days and sometimes a few days in a row when things just seemed bleak and I did not know if I had the strength to pull myself up and put a smile on my face. I wondered what direction my life was going to take and if I would be prepared for what was ahead. The one thing I knew with absolute certainty was that the Lord would not abandon me. He has come through for me many times before and I knew He would again. I just kept hoping that I was learning all that I was supposed to learn and changing where I needed to be changed. This does not mean that the struggles went away or that I did not have any bad days any more. Those still persisted, but I received the comfort and strength of the Lord through various people, especially Aaron, and things started to get better.
I had to learn new things - to rid myself of pride, learn to give more freely of what I had, and it was easier this time, because I had nothing to give in terms of material things, so I gave other things like friendship and love; I had to learn to be humble by interviewing for jobs that never would have crossed my mind earlier, and actually accept one for a few weeks - that taught me more humility.
I worked hard and prayed that the Lord would fill in the rest. Gradually, once the storm subsides, and you are stripped naked of all those things that have weighed you down for a long time, you know that you have done your best and that the Lord will reward you by blessing you more than you know. This experience has strengthened and brought Aaron and I closer to each other. My blessings are abundant, my heart is full and I am grateful.
I work for a Bankruptcy Law Firm - and yes, we are very busy with the way this economy is going. I am usually the "straightforward, don't usually spoon-feed my clients, and say it like it is person." The attorney is the nice one and then they come to me. Then they finish up the process with the attorney signing papers and the other staff helping out and being very kind to them. I like this arrangement as it calls for no fakeness of personality on my part.
Today I was thrown for a bit of a loop. I had a client who was Portuguese. Usually not a problem for me because most Portuguese speakers also understand Spanish, and I speak Spanish 90% of my work day. I wish I had Mackenzie with me at this time to translate but I would imagine that she would also have been left scratching her head. You see, my client had been here in the US for quite some time and had been speaking a lot of Spanish. So the language she now speaks is dubbed Portanhol by our attorney, who spent 2 years in Brazil doing a service mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Therefore he speaks Portugese. Make that spoke Portugese and now speaks Portanhol, due to the high number of Spanish clients. The only drawback was that neither of them could understand each other perfectly because it was so muddled. But they did understand enough to get her to the point that she would need my services.
She was a nice lady whose life has been filled with trials. And I was trying to help out. So I spoke Spanish, she spoke Portanhol and we both spoke a bit of English to each other to get her through. We made it!!!
His music bonded Aaron and I together when I was still in India and he was here in the US. Aaron and I had not met in person yet but felt this intrinsic bond through beautiful piano music. He bought the CD online and shared the link to the CD with me. I loved it. It warmed my soul - like all piano music does. I believe it is the stuff of angels - music. This is why it is so often described as heavenly and divine and celestial.
Paul Cardall. Born with Congenital Heart Disease and given a gift that brings joy to the souls of many, he shares so freely and is without guile. He is a living miracle for having lasted so long with this disease and I wish for him the strength to bear the pain and the will to keep on giving till the end. His life has touched many and will continue to do so for a very long time. He is on a wait list for a heart transplant. Keep him in your prayers so our world will continue to be filled with his heavenly music.
Check out his blog. http://mytricuspidatresia.blogspot.com
His journey is chronicled in such an honest, open, unfeigned way that makes him so real and so tangible, and you struggle through his experiences with him and rejoice for him when he turns a corner or has had a great day. He is an inspiration to me.
Thank you Paul for the amazing person that you are.